


Untitled (for now)

by theoreticalgrey



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom
Genre: Existential Crisis, Some sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 13:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5709457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticalgrey/pseuds/theoreticalgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, Dan?”<br/>“Yeah, Phil?”<br/>“You know those existential crisis things you have?”<br/>“Yeah?”<br/>“I think I’m having one”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled (for now)

Phil unsteadily shuffled into the living room where Dan was sat on the couch watching various baking shows. Phil sniffled as he walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, then shut it walking away empty handed. He opened a few cabinets, leaving them open in typical Phil fashion, opened a few drawers, then crossed back to the living room. 

“Hey, Dan?”  
“Yeah, Phil?”  
“You know those existential crisis things you have?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I think I’m having one”

Dan sat up on the couch as Phil stood there looking at the floor with tears on his face. It didn’t take Dan long to dislodge from browsing position and step over to Phil, pulling him into a hug. Phil started to cry harder as he hugged Dan back. They stood like that until Phil’s sobbing slowed and he let go of Dan to wipe some tears from his face. 

“I got your shirt wet, I’m sorry, Dan”

“It’s okay, Phil”, Dan smiled at his friend and led him to the couch. “Do you want to do something, maybe? Take your mind off, well, off the subject of everything?”  
Phil sat there for a bit before replying, “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do or what to feel. I feel nothing and I can’t stop thinking about everything. Does that make sense? Everything and nothing at the same time? I’m sorry, it can’t be good for you to have someone talk about all this stuff”. 

To the average person it probably didn’t make sense, but Dan had been through several episodes of existentialism to know exactly what Phil meant. 

“It’s okay, it doesn’t bother me. I know what you mean though. It’s not like being sad. It’s an entirely different feeling. It’s like the feeling for the absence of feeling.”, Dan replied.

“It’s like I’ll never feel again.” Phil began to tear up again as his breathe caught in his throat and his bottom lip began to tremble. 

“It’s going to be okay, Phil.” Dan pulled Phil into a tight hug and let Phil cry on his shirt again. “It’ll end and it’ll be okay again.”

Phil wanted to voice everything that was on his mind, but he didn’t want Dan to suffer for it. He was afraid he would pull Dan into his crisis.

As if Dan could read his mind he said, “Don’t bottle anything up, okay? It helps to let it out. I don’t mind. Sometimes the talking out loud lets you think more about it and it starts to make sense”

Despite his best efforts Phil began releasing what he had spent a good portion of the day thinking about. 

“I know we don’t exactly have jobs. I mean we do, we have YouTube and that’s definitely a job, but we don’t have to get up every morning and pull long shifts, but Dan what’s the point of it all? Who decided that we needed to do that? To make money? Well we make money to pay for things, but why do we have to pay for things? Right, because we need to pay for services somehow, it makes sense in a way, but then we go back to the pre-history era, a time before writing. I think they got along okay, I mean sure there was disease and stuff, but they seemed happy until that” Phil stopped to catch his breath the continued, “I mean I guess it would be pointless to live until 20 even if you were happy those 20 years. Or would it be? Should we go back to that? Will people object? Of course they will, it’s a crazy proposition” 

While Phil’s ravings may have seemed mad to anyone else he knew exactly what he meant. Dan pushed it to the back of his mind as he let Phil continue.

“Why do we like the things we like? Who decided that? And why are some people so mean? I can’t possibly comprehend the reason for the sheer meanness of individuals. How can someone have such little regard for someone else. We all have feelings.”

Dan stroked Phil’s hair as he replied, “I know, it sucks. There’s nothing we can do about It though, Phil. Society is set in its ways. I don’t understand it either, but I know what you mean. The world would be a better place if we could all get along, but it won’t happen. As much as it pains me to think that way.”

Phil continued to frown, but he had stopped sobbing so Dan figured he was making some sort of progress with him. He heard Phil’s stomach growl and realized it was 1pm and this was the first Dan had seen Phil leave his room today. 

“Phil? How about we get some food, okay? It’ll help. Promise. You can even have some of my cereal if you want”.

Phil sat up on the couch, pulling away from Dan’s chest. “I suppose. If you think it’ll help”

“I know it will. Come on, I’m the existential crisis master!”

Phil gave a brief smile as Dan stood up and offered Phil his hand. Phil made a few more swipes at his cheeks with his sleeves before grabbing Dan’s hand. 

“Thank you, Dan. I’m sorry I’m such a mess today. Not very sunshine-y.”

“You’re not a mess, Phil. Besides, you might be a literal ball of sunshine, but even the sun needs to rest sometimes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Existentialism, huzzah! (inspired by my own existential episode at work today)


End file.
